I can
hear my conscience very clearly as I pause and take a drink.
The life
you are living will lead to more pain and confusion than you think.
Another
thought takes over and begins to dominate.
Today is
too soon, tomorrow is near, you can wait.
The way I
live brings me comfort and pleasure.
God wants
me to be happy, He gave me this treasure.
I know I
didn't live for God today or tonight.
Tomorrow,
maybe, just maybe, I might.
Shaking
these thoughts, quenching the fire,
If God
really wants me, He will give me desire.
A day
will come when I finally settle down.
I believe
in Jesus and His eternal crown.
I know
just a few, they live a life that is right.
I stay
away, I feel bad near the light.
They are
kinda weird, they have their own groove.
It's not
my time to make such a move.
There are
some others, they live life to have fun.
They
don't talk about the Bible or God's only son.
I spend
time with them, though they don't have a clue,
At least
I don't have to watch what I say or even what I do.
Life is
too short, so I live for today.
Life in
the fast lane, nothing to obey.
If I am
going to change, I need some kind of guarantee.
If Jesus
is real, He needs to do something I can see.
I am
having a good time, it can't be all that bad.
I don't
know when I will change, too much fun to be had.
I listen
to spiritual music when I am lost and confused,
But I
keep it down low or my friends will be amused.
I have
some Christian books and a couple bibles, maybe three.
I read
them when I need God to do something big, just for me.
Its all
good, It seems so right.
I will
say a little prayer before bed tonight.
Now I lay
me down to sleep,
I pray
the Lord my soul to keep,
If I
should die before I wake,
I pray
the Lord my soul to take.
I didn't
live for God today or tonight,
tomorrow,
maybe, just maybe, I might.
As I
begin to close my eyes, everything disappears.
Did I
just die, this is the worst of my fears.
This
seems like some kind of dream, I didn't have time to get right.
I see so
many people as I squint at the the light.
I am
standing in an palace, more than any man could ever obtain.
The
throne is beyond imagination, I can't even begin to explain.
How can
this be, I can see Jesus and He is standing.
How do I
know this, I'm having trouble understanding.
He is
disfigured and mutilated, not what I pictured in my head.
Now I see
why no one recognized him after He rose up from the dead.
I can see
love and peace radiating out from his eyes.
He is
shining like lightning, bright as the morning sun rise.
I can
tell by the way He was beat, they must have seethed with hate.
He looks
barely human, why didn't He break the world in half and retaliate.
Most of
his beard has been ripped from his face.
Not like
all the paintings that hang with such grace.
A lamb that
was slaughtered, described in the last book.
I can see
from his appearance, the torture and pain he took.
I see the
scars on his hands and one in his side.
Many
people are crying, some still full of pride.
Is this a
dream or really the end, I wonder.
He begins
to speak, His voice, like pure thunder.
His words
cut through the air with clarity and so clear.
My eyes
have been opened, now I begin to fear.
I have
separated you, many to my left and a few to my right.
Everything
hidden by the dark will now be exposed by light.
I have
walked with each of you and told you the truth.
Most of
you said tomorrow, we don't have enough proof.
A few
surrendered completely, not even asking why.
They saw
my invisible qualities I placed in the earth and sky.
From the
very beginning everyone has turned their own way.
I have
never forced anyone to love me, not even today.
We want
to be in control, are the words I always heard.
I begged
and pleaded with you through my spirit and my word.
My Spirit
lived in some and molded them like clay.
They
walked a very narrow path, it was absolutely the only way.
I see His
face crinkle, with a soft little smile.
Turning
to the ones who have loved him through every difficult mile.
He
announces His verdict to the few on His right.
You are
truly my disciples, you will never again have to fight.
They drop
to their knees and take a deep breath.
They just
escaped the second and eternal death.
The
"many" stare in silence, faces frozen and cold.
They now
hear what they never wanted to be told.
They
understand things they didn't want to know.
Judged by
their choices, they lived their lives just for show.
The
"few" stop and look, their eyes full of pain.
Their
lives had shined like light, with very little gain.
They are
looking toward me, their tears slowly fall.
I realize
where I am standing, I feel so very small.
From the
crowd where I am, many begin to question and accuse.
Why
didn't you do miracles for us like you did for all the Jews?
When you
lived on the earth, you raised that man's daughter,
You rose
from the dead, healed the blind and even walked on water.
If I had
been in the crowd of thousands and ate the bread,
I would
have changed my life and did everything that you said.
If I had
heard your voice and all the words you repeated,
I would
have turned from sin and told the world, it's you that they needed.
We went
to your house and sang songs to call you from heaven.
The
presence of the lord was there, it happened every week at eleven.
You said
I could do the things you did, and even greater,
I looked
like a fool trying to do miracles like the Creator.
You said
I could heal the blind and cast out demons by saying your name.
I have
never even seen a demon and my own eyes were aging and lame.
I studied
your holy bible and found it inconsistent and over rated.
They say
man had altered your words, they were corrupt and outdated.
Do you
realize who I am, I went to one of the finest churches around.
I gave my
money to make sure the place was beautiful and profound.
You said
that anger was a sin, leading to no appeal,
but you
tore up the temple, raging, and called it zeal.
I took
your deal, went to the altar and repeated the holy prayer.
I'm not
perfect, we all sin, can't change overnight, this isn't fair.
Compared
to most, I lived a good life and was nice to people every day,
how can
you argue with that, now, what do you have to say.
Jesus
looked down, and then back to the crowd.
Still
very calm, though we have never even bowed.
His eyes
look at each one, I drop down to my knees.
He begins
to speak, His voice is calm like a soft morning breeze.
I know
each one of you, I watched you grow.
I am the
eternal one, I gave you life as an embryo.
You speak
to me as though I'm ignorant, I know everything you have done.
I have
never allowed anyone to know me through intelligence, not even one.
Here is
the first of many things you really should have known,
You were
not created to live this life without us, you were alone.
Many
times I asked you to let me take over and reign.
If you
would have surrendered, you would be without any stain.
You
ignored your conscious, you didn't have a clue.
That was
me, repeating the words, I died just for you.
The bible
contained words only I could see, It was made that way.
You
looked through your own eyes, blinded by a debt you couldn't pay.
I
taught my disciples and large crowds for
several years or more.
I walked
with each of you every single day, and still you wouldn't open the door.
My
miracles were not to impress people like some kind of new fashion.
Those
people were lost, confused and helpless, I did it out of compassion.
Some of
you craved my power like a magic voodoo spell.
singing
songs to summon me, like I don't know where to dwell.
I told
you my temple would no longer be made of wood and stone.
When I
made it new, We moved into a house made of human flesh and bone.
I said at
the well, worship will no longer be tied to time and a place.
True
worship is following my words everyday and every single place.
You
wanted to amaze others with signs and wonders from above.
You
missed the whole point of everything I did, my power is love.
The
demons are not flesh and blood, you were not meant to see.
But still
you followed their instructions, leading you away from me.
I said
back then, you would do greater works than mine.
You could
not see, the work I did, was to let my love shine.
I knew
the Spirit would show up, and light the flames of many more,
Advancing
the kingdom, shining love and grace to more than ever before.
Saying my
name and living your own life, had not one ounce of power.
Obeying
my words, allowing me to shine, caused every demon to cower.
Talking
about others, adding fuel to a fire already out of control,
I made it
very clear, gossip and slander would cost you your very soul.
As far as
the clearing of the temple, I did it with tears.
Those who
don't know me add the anger to cover
their own sins and fears.
My word
tells who I am, I did not scream and yell or crush the weak,
I don't
have to, I am the living God, all I have to do is speak.
You said
you were giving to Me and that I blessed you with wonderful sanctuary.
Loving me
is helping someone in need, not building up the temporary.
I said
they would come, deceive you, and ask for your dollar.
They said
God would pay you back, write a check, we need to build it taller.
Money in
the plate to help you feel better, that's not what I had in mind.
Helping
the blind, and telling them why, is worth more than all the gold combined.
I asked
you not to fall in love with a world that was evil and corrupt.
You
worshipped the things it offered and you didn't want me to interrupt.
I know
you were not perfect and I expected you to stumble.
But you
did it on purpose, counting on forgiveness, pretending to be humble.
The
passion for things, and a pompous sense of superiority,
Is proof
that you ignored the truth and embraced evil as your authority.
Blinded
by the darkness and trying to fill your eyes with pleasure,
you threw
mercy, grace and salvation away, the only true treasure.
You believed
in me, but the thorns of greed choked out your heart.
You
closed your eyes and plugged your ears, denying me from the very start.
To the
preachers and teachers standing to my left, the wrong side,
you began
serving in love but then ever so slowly gave in to comfort and pride.
By your
actions, you have all disowned me there, now I will disown you here.
By
refusing to help those who could not help you, you made it clear.
Looking
down, His words end, no one makes a sound.
His tears
were falling like drops of blood hitting the hallowed ground.
As I
close my eyes, it all disappeared.
Did I
just die, this is always what I feared.
I have
just been judged by the things I have done.
I am now
in an eternity that had long since begun.
Was it a
dream or did I die that very night?
I can't
see any people, there is not one single trace of light.
Standing
in a great darkness, surrounded by fear and disdain.
The pain
is beyond imagination, I can't even begin to explain.
I see
nothing but black and here screams that are unknown.
I keep
searching for the sound, maybe they are my own.
The years
that I had were just a mist and then they vanished.
I stood
in the middle of heaven, and then was banished.
The life
I lived was for my own comfort and pleasure.
God wanted
me to be happy, I threw away His treasure.
I knew
just a few that lived a life that was right.
Never
again will I see them, that was the last night.
Life was
so short and I lived it without any fear.
The
highway I chose is how I ended up standing here.
I threw
away my life and every chance is gone for me
Jesus is
so real and He did so much that I chose not to see.
I
remember the most ignorant and the way they would boast.
I made
the person you see, I live like a king and I have the very most.
I envied
the money, the life, the confidence and pride.
I got on
board with deception and enjoyed the flashy ride.
I
remember the words, they convinced me to hesitate.
Today is
too soon, tomorrow is near, you can wait.
And so, I
keep trying to wake up from this night.
Tomorrow,
maybe, just maybe, I might.