I can hear my conscience very clearly as I pause and take a drink.
The life you are living will lead to more pain and confusion than you think.
Another thought takes over and begins to dominate.
Today is too soon, tomorrow is near, you can wait.
The way I live brings me comfort and pleasure.
God wants me to be happy, He gave me this treasure.
I know I didn't live for God today or tonight.
Tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, I might.
Shaking these thoughts, quenching the fire,
If God really wants me, He will give me desire.
A day will come when I finally settle down.
I believe in Jesus and His eternal crown.
I know just a few, they live a life that is right.
I stay away, I feel bad near the light.
They are kinda weird, they have their own groove.
It's not my time to make such a move.
There are some others, they live life to have fun.
They don't talk about the Bible or God's only son.
I spend time with them, though they don't have a clue,
At least I don't have to watch what I say or even what I do.
Life is too short, so I live for today.
Life in the fast lane, nothing to obey.
If I am going to change, I need some kind of guarantee.
If Jesus is real, He needs to do something I can see.
I am having a good time, it can't be all that bad.
I don't know when I will change, too much fun to be had.
I listen to spiritual music when I am lost and confused,
But I keep it down low or my friends will be amused.
I have some Christian books and a couple bibles, maybe three.
I read them when I need God to do something big, just for me.
Its all good, It seems so right.
I will say a little prayer before bed tonight.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I didn't live for God today or tonight,
tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, I might.
As I begin to close my eyes, everything disappears.
Did I just die, this is the worst of my fears.
This seems like some kind of dream, I didn't have time to get right.
I see so many people as I squint at the the light.
I am standing in an palace, more than any man could ever obtain.
The throne is beyond imagination, I can't even begin to explain.
How can this be, I can see Jesus and He is standing.
How do I know this, I'm having trouble understanding.
He is disfigured and mutilated, not what I pictured in my head.
Now I see why no one recognized him after He rose up from the dead.
I can see love and peace radiating out from his eyes.
He is shining like lightning, bright as the morning sun rise.
I can tell by the way He was beat, they must have seethed with hate.
He looks barely human, why didn't He break the world in half and retaliate.
Most of his beard has been ripped from his face.
Not like all the paintings that hang with such grace.
A lamb that was slaughtered, described in the last book.
I can see from his appearance, the torture and pain he took.
I see the scars on his hands and one in his side.
Many people are crying, some still full of pride.
Is this a dream or really the end, I wonder.
He begins to speak, His voice, like pure thunder.
His words cut through the air with clarity and so clear.
My eyes have been opened, now I begin to fear.
I have separated you, many to my left and a few to my right.
Everything hidden by the dark will now be exposed by light.
I have walked with each of you and told you the truth.
Most of you said tomorrow, we don't have enough proof.
A few surrendered completely, not even asking why.
They saw my invisible qualities I placed in the earth and sky.
From the very beginning everyone has turned their own way.
I have never forced anyone to love me, not even today.
We want to be in control, are the words I always heard.
I begged and pleaded with you through my spirit and my word.
My Spirit lived in some and molded them like clay.
They walked a very narrow path, it was absolutely the only way.
I see His face crinkle, with a soft little smile.
Turning to the ones who have loved him through every difficult mile.
He announces His verdict to the few on His right.
You are truly my disciples, you will never again have to fight.
They drop to their knees and take a deep breath.
They just escaped the second and eternal death.
The "many" stare in silence, faces frozen and cold.
They now hear what they never wanted to be told.
They understand things they didn't want to know.
Judged by their choices, they lived their lives just for show.
The "few" stop and look, their eyes full of pain.
Their lives had shined like light, with very little gain.
They are looking toward me, their tears slowly fall.
I realize where I am standing, I feel so very small.
From the crowd where I am, many begin to question and accuse.
Why didn't you do miracles for us like you did for all the Jews?
When you lived on the earth, you raised that man's daughter,
You rose from the dead, healed the blind and even walked on water.
If I had been in the crowd of thousands and ate the bread,
I would have changed my life and did everything that you said.
If I had heard your voice and all the words you repeated,
I would have turned from sin and told the world, it's you that they needed.
We went to your house and sang songs to call you from heaven.
The presence of the lord was there, it happened every week at eleven.
You said I could do the things you did, and even greater,
I looked like a fool trying to do miracles like the Creator.
You said I could heal the blind and cast out demons by saying your name.
I have never even seen a demon and my own eyes were aging and lame.
I studied your holy bible and found it inconsistent and over rated.
They say man had altered your words, they were corrupt and outdated.
Do you realize who I am, I went to one of the finest churches around.
I gave my money to make sure the place was beautiful and profound.
You said that anger was a sin, leading to no appeal,
but you tore up the temple, raging, and called it zeal.
I took your deal, went to the altar and repeated the holy prayer.
I'm not perfect, we all sin, can't change overnight, this isn't fair.
Compared to most, I lived a good life and was nice to people every day,
how can you argue with that, now, what do you have to say.
Jesus looked down, and then back to the crowd.
Still very calm, though we have never even bowed.
His eyes look at each one, I drop down to my knees.
He begins to speak, His voice is calm like a soft morning breeze.
I know each one of you, I watched you grow.
I am the eternal one, I gave you life as an embryo.
You speak to me as though I'm ignorant, I know everything you have done.
I have never allowed anyone to know me through intelligence, not even one.
Here is the first of many things you really should have known,
You were not created to live this life without us, you were alone.
Many times I asked you to let me take over and reign.
If you would have surrendered, you would be without any stain.
You ignored your conscious, you didn't have a clue.
That was me, repeating the words, I died just for you.
The bible contained words only I could see, It was made that way.
You looked through your own eyes, blinded by a debt you couldn't pay.
I taught my disciples and large crowds for several years or more.
I walked with each of you every single day, and still you wouldn't open the door.
My miracles were not to impress people like some kind of new fashion.
Those people were lost, confused and helpless, I did it out of compassion.
Some of you craved my power like a magic voodoo spell.
singing songs to summon me, like I don't know where to dwell.
I told you my temple would no longer be made of wood and stone.
When I made it new, We moved into a house made of human flesh and bone.
I said at the well, worship will no longer be tied to time and a place.
True worship is following my words everyday and every single place.
You wanted to amaze others with signs and wonders from above.
You missed the whole point of everything I did, my power is love.
The demons are not flesh and blood, you were not meant to see.
But still you followed their instructions, leading you away from me.
I said back then, you would do greater works than mine.
You could not see, the work I did, was to let my love shine.
I knew the Spirit would show up, and light the flames of many more,
Advancing the kingdom, shining love and grace to more than ever before.
Saying my name and living your own life, had not one ounce of power.
Obeying my words, allowing me to shine, caused every demon to cower.
Talking about others, adding fuel to a fire already out of control,
I made it very clear, gossip and slander would cost you your very soul.
As far as the clearing of the temple, I did it with tears.
Those who don't know me add the anger to cover their own sins and fears.
My word tells who I am, I did not scream and yell or crush the weak,
I don't have to, I am the living God, all I have to do is speak.
You said you were giving to Me and that I blessed you with wonderful sanctuary.
Loving me is helping someone in need, not building up the temporary.
I said they would come, deceive you, and ask for your dollar.
They said God would pay you back, write a check, we need to build it taller.
Money in the plate to help you feel better, that's not what I had in mind.
Helping the blind, and telling them why, is worth more than all the gold combined.
I asked you not to fall in love with a world that was evil and corrupt.
You worshipped the things it offered and you didn't want me to interrupt.
I know you were not perfect and I expected you to stumble.
But you did it on purpose, counting on forgiveness, pretending to be humble.
The passion for things, and a pompous sense of superiority,
Is proof that you ignored the truth and embraced evil as your authority.
Blinded by the darkness and trying to fill your eyes with pleasure,
you threw mercy, grace and salvation away, the only true treasure.
You believed in me, but the thorns of greed choked out your heart.
You closed your eyes and plugged your ears, denying me from the very start.
To the preachers and teachers standing to my left, the wrong side,
you began serving in love but then ever so slowly gave in to comfort and pride.
By your actions, you have all disowned me there, now I will disown you here.
By refusing to help those who could not help you, you made it clear.
Looking down, His words end, no one makes a sound.
His tears were falling like drops of blood hitting the hallowed ground.
As I close my eyes, it all disappeared.
Did I just die, this is always what I feared.
I have just been judged by the things I have done.
I am now in an eternity that had long since begun.
Was it a dream or did I die that very night?
I can't see any people, there is not one single trace of light.
Standing in a great darkness, surrounded by fear and disdain.
The pain is beyond imagination, I can't even begin to explain.
I see nothing but black and here screams that are unknown.
I keep searching for the sound, maybe they are my own.
The years that I had were just a mist and then they vanished.
I stood in the middle of heaven, and then was banished.
The life I lived was for my own comfort and pleasure.
God wanted me to be happy, I threw away His treasure.
I knew just a few that lived a life that was right.
Never again will I see them, that was the last night.
Life was so short and I lived it without any fear.
The highway I chose is how I ended up standing here.
I threw away my life and every chance is gone for me
Jesus is so real and He did so much that I chose not to see.
I remember the most ignorant and the way they would boast.
I made the person you see, I live like a king and I have the very most.
I envied the money, the life, the confidence and pride.
I got on board with deception and enjoyed the flashy ride.
I remember the words, they convinced me to hesitate.
Today is too soon, tomorrow is near, you can wait.
And so, I keep trying to wake up from this night.
Tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, I might.
Written By Christopher Shea